Monday, August 10, 2009


When it comes to updating the blog I'll start with an entry I began on Saturday but just never got around to finishing and publishing

I did it again!!

We are a family that "loves" to visit doctors. Not that we really want to, it just seems we're always there for various reasons. I always try my best to wait until I'm sure that we really need a doctor before we go. I'm sure most of us have had that experience with our children where we're not sure if it's worth taking them or not, where we're not sure if it's as bad as they make it out to be ... or in Rebecca's case if it's worse then she's making it out to be.

I should know by now that Rebecca is pretty tough and she certainly does not exaggerate. One of the things that especially increases Rebecca's anxiety problems is when attention is drawn to her. She does not like to be different or stand out, she wanted to blend in and just be "normal". She strives hard not to let anyone know if something is effecting her. This is why her emotional state was not recognized by us until almost a year after James died ... and even now others cannot see that she is the least bit effected. But her comfort zone is at home and at home it is okay to let us know what's wrong and that she is "different" (as she feels), "special" as we like to let her know.

So on July 29th when Rebecca fell off her bike and hurt herself I should have known to multiply her pain as she was showing it in order to get a better gage of how she was really feeling. She did a good job of scraping up her elbow and knee but her shoulder was what bothered her the most. We figured we'd let her rest and see how it was the next day. There was no bruise or swelling or anything that indicated trouble. The next day it still hurt bad but it was Park Day and she wanted to go to the park badly so I told her we'd first go the park and then take her to the doctor. I thought this would be a good way for me to gage how she was truly doing. At the park she took a bit to warm up and start moving her arm ... but once she did she was busy and going and even playing on the monkey bars ... "okay, it must just be bruised and tender, just give it a few days and it will be better" ... or so I thought.

As the next days went by she had ups and downs where it hurt a fair amount and she couldn't life it, to where she seemed to be doing just fine, and so I left it. Then on Friday (August 7th, nine days after the fact) I found her crying in her bed in the morning because it hurt so much that she couldn't sit up to get out of bed. I decided we best take her to the doctor, but again she wanted to first play with her friend for the day. By evening she seemed much better, although she did say it still hurt and she thought she should see the doctor.

So Saturday morning we took her off to the Emergency at the local hospital. Ah ... how nice, we wait 5 minutes in the waiting room, 20 minutes in the examining room, 2 minutes at the x-ray department, didn't even get to sit down again in the waiting room and we got to talk to the doctor. In that time it is unlikely we would have been seen yet at Mac, and even if we hit a really, really good day it's for sure unlikely we'd have gotten an x-ray done yet.

Rebecca had a broken collarbone. He said broken at one point and cracked at another. All in all I take that to be the same thing, considering she's already a 1/3 of the way healed I'm guessing he used cracked to describe the state it's at now. The good part about the news was that we can be very thankful that it was healing very well. It was a "clean" break where the bones had not shifted and so they were healing in the proper position and no rebreaking was needed. Phew!!! At this point she had already had 10 days of healing and it was looking good. He said with kids it takes about 3 weeks to heal and that nothing was needed. I found it odd he didn't even want a sling (and my researched afterwards showed that collarbone breaks are treated with a sling) but this could be because it's already partway healed and doing well considering how she's been using it the last 10 days. It could also be because he knew she was heading off to camp this week and wanted to have fun still. He advised us to treat it like a twig ... it can break again very easily and so she is to avoid any straining of the shoulder, no sleeping on the shoulder (something very difficult for her as she sleeps on that side) and he did also say no rough, running, biking type games (not sure she'll be able to abide by that at camp).

Why do I always wait so long to take them in?

Knowing her collarbone is broken gave me piece of mind to know how to treat her and to realize that it was more serious then I was treating it. For Rebecca it created the opposite and has flared up her anxiety issues. I am not there this week to help her determine what she can or cannot do ... and worst yet she's around a pile of people who will think she's "different" because she can't do everything. She's had trouble sleeping and has been crying and anxious as she's worried she'll do more damage and wants to do what is right but also wants to be "normal" and have fun.

I hope that once she arrives at camp she will be so busy having fun she won't worry. Of course I also hope and pray that she won't hurt it further.

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