Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Updated Family Photo :(

So on Family Day (February 18) we took some family photo’s but I only posted the ones of the kids. So here’s a couple of the family ... nothing special, but at least we’re all looking at the camera and at least Matthew’s not crying (as he did on our first attempt).

With a new minister coming the church is putting together an album (can you imagine the size of that) for the family in order to help them to get to know the members. So we are each suppose to include a family photo or something of that assort to introduce our family. This is/was a difficult task for us. On our wall hangs recent family photos, taken only days before James went into hospital. Although we realize James is no longer here, he is still very much part of our family and to exclude him in a family pictures is like excluding him from our memory. I realize that is not truly how it is, but that is how it feels. On the other hand, we realize that our new minister is meeting us as the family we are now, and that means our family photo is outdated. If our photo was outdated because of a new baby in the family it would be no big deal to run off to a photo studio and have an updated picture taken. Somehow I could not bring myself to do this, it was like we were officially taking James out of the picture/family. So this is how we ended up doing family photos on Family Day. It just seemed easier to take some snap-shots- making it less formal and less official that this is truly our complete family now.

As the photo’s daily run across my computer screen I have slowly adjusted to them as just another photo. As long as they are on the computer and are not hanging on the wall making things more official then it doesn’t seem so bad. On the day I took the photo’s I could not bring myself to post them, but I suppose each change takes time to be accepted, one step at a time ... eventually I will also have to change the photos on the wall, but for now I am enjoying things just the way they are.

So which one should I use? I favour the top one, but we took these bottom ones because we felt we were sitting too far apart on that one. None of them turned out great, at least one of us just doesn't look right on each ... ah well, the joys of family pictures. I better just get my butt in gear and print one so I can get my scrapbook page done.


HH said...

Steph, I actually like the last one the best. But they are all very nice. Even though James may not be on your family photos anymore, he is still very much a part of your family, he'll always be in your hearts. Don't take the photos down off the wall, just add the new ones, if you have enough wall space. What a nice idea to have a scrap book for your new minister. That way he can get to know his congregation really well.

Andrew and Natalie VanderHeide said...

Hi Steph. I finally just caught up on your last few posts. Thanks for them. Glad to hear that you are closer to solving the Matthew puzzle, even though an allergy is inconvenient. Hope you are all properly recovered from your bout of flus! All the photos look great to me...I'm a fan of the last one too, actually, but I didn't see it up close or in big, so you may have a better idea. As the "turmoil" and grief continue over James continue, we pray you may receive all the comfort and strenth you need...

Anonymous said...

Dear Rob & Steph

You guys are definitely more photogenic than our gang! They're all nice poses, but I would agree the last one is the best.
Thank you for sending them, and keeping us posted on your well being. I'm sure that the period of adjustment is long from over, if it ever really ceases. As you continue to adjust in heart and mind to the new shape of your family, adjust your walls as well, by adding these new pictures to your ones already there. James is not being replaced or omitted from your family. If any of your little troopers "earned" a place of honour on your wall, he just might be the guy.
Hope the March break will get rid of all the flu bugs in your house. God's blessing to you Rob, as you finish this semester.
Love, Al and Diane

Anonymous said...

Steph, I vote for the top one.

And, as always, we pray for your continued comfort and strength as you adjust to family life without James.

Alina Noot

Anonymous said...

Thanks for keeping us updated on your family. We tend to visit your blog every day - just in case there's a new post. We, too, are hoping that Matthew's difficulties are as "simple" as a milk/soy allergy which he could conceivably grow out of as he matures.

Keep those pictures of James displayed. He will always be an important part of your family and those pictures will serve as a reminder of the happy days you had with him, too.

It's a "toss-up" for us regarding the new photos. We like the top one as well as the bottom-right one. Eenie-meenie...

Hugs from Arend and Willa Dale

Anonymous said...

Hi Steph
I also like the last one the best.
Hope you all got over the nasty flu,our whole household got it this week, so i`ve had kids home almost every day this week.
Steph you don`t have to take down any photos, just add the new ones.
Thinking and praying for you all.