It has been over 18 months already. It is with joy that we can say "already", for this means that time has not dragged by over these past months. We have been able to go on, life has gone on and we have been enjoying the life that has been given to us. Indeed it has gone extremely fast and it's more with sadness that we say "already" for it makes our hearts heavy when we get this feeling like all that happened was a life-time ago. Sometimes we even wonder "did that really happen?" But our hearts know it did, our minds know it did, and everywhere we look we are reminded that indeed it did happen.
We miss our dear boy, but we continue to have peace knowing that he was relieved from a life of suffering. When we sit down to read James' Story it brings back a flood of memories, good and bad ... and although they can be hard to read, it is good that the bad memories are in there too, for it keeps us focused on the reality of what James' life was like when he was with us. Sometimes we get to missing him and wanting him back and often it's when we are remembering the fun times (and these memories can even be hospital times), but when we refocus ourselves back on the medical aspect of his life and all that his little body was struggling to do we can again be thankful that the Lord saw it fit to relieve him of this burden that he carried.
James was an amazing little boy, a truly wonderful gift that the Lord gave us to take care of for a short time. As humans we wish we could have had him with us longer, most of all we wished he could have been healed of the disorders that made his life so difficult and we wish we could have watched him grow up ... we are full of wishes, that is what life is all about! But the reality is that as amazing as he was the Lord had another purpose for his life, whether we will ever understand is something I highly doubt. We know that James is happy now, he is healed now, but we also know that even the comfort of this does not dismiss the grief that comes with lossing a loved one. We thank the Lord each day again that He has given us so much strength through these past years and He keeps holding us up and helping us on. I cannot imagine where we would be without Him.