Friday, October 31, 2008

"Bye Daddy-O"

It's so ironic that the last home video we have of James is when he is on the phone at the hospital talking to daddy. It was the night before his first whole lung lavage (Oct 9). His very last words are "Bye Daddy-O". I think we cry everytime we watch it.

Here is the last picture we have of James before his lungs died (taken Oct 30). One year ago his third Whole Lung Lavage (WLL) failed and we remember this day as the day that James "really died". It was the day his lungs stopped functioning on their own. If we had known the outcome at that point we wouldn't have put him through the next three weeks of agony. But of course at that time we were holding on and clinging to any hope that something could still be done.

This picture was taken the night before his last lavage. Our daily routine was to have a chat with the girls and daddy just before the girls went to bed. I was just prepping James for a haircut and bath when they called. And so it's ironic that not only is his last video of "bye daddy-o" but that last picture of when he was still "alive" and could still talk is also on the phone saying goodnight and "bye daddy-o".

I cannot believe that a year has gone by already. I cannot believe a year ago we watch doctors swarm into James room as he clung to live. I cannot believe that a year ago I was living in Toronto at the hospital. I cannot believe how much life can change in one years time.

What I can believe and see is that our Heavenly Father has most certainly carried us through this past year. Where would we be now without Him and the hope and comfort he provides?!?

7 comments:

L.V. said...

I love that picture of James Steph! It's always been a favourite. We are so thankful that you may still see how God has carried you all through...may God be especially close when difficult memories come to mind as well.
Love the Vandenbeukels

HH said...

Awww Steph, that picture is so beautiful and precious. Bitter-sweet eh! I can just hear him saying, "Hi Daddy-oh" from heaven now. One year ago already, wow.

Anonymous said...

We remember with you...
We pray for you...
We Thank God for his love and comfort shown to you..
And again..we continue to pray!
((HUGS))
Rich and Tracey Stam

Anonymous said...

{shivers}

Remembering with you....and praying for you as you remember and reflect!
Karen

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you in this time and may the Lord be with you and comfort you.
Shaun and Karen DeJonge and family

Kevin and Amy said...

What a sweet picture, and I know for sure I would bawl my eyes out watching that video. It is very special that you have the picture and the video memories of him the night before his lungs died.
Life has definitely changed, and hopefully the worst year of your life is now behind you. Praying for you this month as it will be a tough one for you.

Steph said...

I realized I wasn't very clear in what I wrote the other day, so I editted my post.

The reason the video and the picture are ironic is because they were taken at totally seperate times.

The video was taken the night before his first lavage and the picture the night before his third lavage. I thought I wrote that but now realize in my scatterbrain I was thinking it but did not actually write it.